POWER & CONTROL Wheel
Adapted from the Power and Control Wheel created by Domestic Violence Intervention Project, Duluth, MN.
Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors that one person uses to gain or maintain power and control over another. The Power and Control Wheel is a tool that helps show how abuse can appear in different ways within a relationship.
The wheel has two parts:
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Inner ring: Shows the ongoing, non-physical ways someone might try to control another person, such as intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation, blaming, or using children. These behaviors are repeated over time to wear a person down.
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Outer ring: Represents physical and sexual violence. These actions are often used to reinforce the control created by the behaviors in the inner ring.
All together, the wheel helps make less obvious forms of abuse easier to understand by showing how they fit into a larger pattern of power and control. It shows that these behaviors are part of an ongoing cycle of abuse, not just isolated incidents.
Using Coercion and Threats
Using pressure or threats to scare you or make you do something you don’t want to do. This might include:
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Threatening to leave or hurt themselves
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Threatening to call immigration, CPS, or the police on you
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Forcing you to do illegal things or drop charges
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Saying things like, “If you ever leave me, you’ll regret it”
Using Intimidation
Using actions, body language, or facial expressions to scare you without words. This could include:
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Destroying your things or breaking household items
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Blocking your way
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Displaying weapons
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Abusing or threatening pets
Using Emotional Abuse
Hurting your feelings or sense of self to wear you down or confuse you. This might include:
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Putting you down or calling you names
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Making you feel guilty or ashamed
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Playing mind games or gaslighting you
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Humiliating you in public or private
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Blaming you for their behavior
Using Isolation
Cutting you off from people or resources to make you feel alone. This might include:
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Controlling where you go or who you talk to
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Not letting you go anywhere alone
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Making you report everything you do or everywhere you go
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Using jealousy as an excuse to control you
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Saying things like “no one will believe you”
Minimizing, Denying, Blaming
Avoiding responsibility for the abuse or making you feel like it’s your fault. This might include:
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Saying the abuse was a joke or not a big deal
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Claiming it didn’t happen or that you imagined it
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Blaming you for their actions, saying, “you made me do it”
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Saying things like, “you’re too sensitive” or “you always twist things”
Using Children
Using your children as a way to control, threaten, or hurt you. This might include:
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Saying you’re a bad parent or threatening to take the kids away
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Making you feel guilty for leaving “because of the kids”
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Using the kids to send messages or spy on you
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Telling you that you don’t have legal rights or will lose custody
Entitlement or Privilege
Using their status or identity to control or dominate the relationship. This might include:
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Acting like they have the final say in everything
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Treating you like a servant or expecting you to follow their rules
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Controlling gender roles, religion, or cultural expectations to limit your freedom
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Using race, immigration status, or community standing to silence or discredit you
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Controlling what you wear, what language is spoken, or who you interact with
Economic Abuse
Controlling money or resources to keep you dependent. This might include:
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Not letting you get or keep a job
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Making you ask for money or giving an “allowance”
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Taking your money or credit cards without permission
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Refusing to work and making you support them
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Not letting you know about or have access to family resources or accounts